Tuesday 1 March 2016

Things I Realised While Studying Abroad

Making the decision to study abroad is not that easy. Even if you know that you would love to do it more than anything in the world, you have to figure out if it is the right decision for you at that time, if you have the means to make it work, and most importantly, if you have the balls to do it. It all starts with a possibility. A possibility which I myself had rejected a long time before I realised that maybe it would not be impossible after all, maybe I should just take another look at it. So you start doing your research, you start talking about it to your friends, introducing the idea to your parents, doing all the math. Slowly but surely the possibility grows into something more. You want to do this, you really do. And if you try hard enough, it can be possible. What is there that could possibly hold you back? So you apply, and you wait, and you anticipate..until that e-mail pops up in your inbox or you receive that one letter telling you that you're in. Well..I guess you're doing this then.

The day of departure grows closer, you start packing, saying goodbye to your friends, and every day you imagine what the coming year (or whatever timespan you are leaving for) is going to be. You can form your ideas, you can imagine what it is going to be like, the people you are going to meet, the stuff you will learn, the places you will see.

For me, it was exactly like this. Ultimately, I had done this before, I had gone on Erasmus exchange, I kind of knew what I could expect, even though this time around it was just me doing this, and quite frankly, that's scary.

A few months onward, and from all the imaginings I had before my arrival, most of them seem to have pretty much come true. I made new friends, explored new places, learned more things than I could have possibly have hoped for. However, I noticed that while being here, I'm experiencing things that had not crossed my mind before, even though they seem totally valid for this kind of situation. And hey, if I hadn't thought of them, maybe others won't have either, am I right? In any case, I want to take this opportunity to share some of the things I have been experiencing while studying abroad, which I gladly, and honestly present to you.

Observation Number 1: You are always going to miss home

Yes, this is true. For some people this may seem like the most obvious thing ever, and for some like the most improbable thing ever. For me, it was somewhere in between. I had always wanted to escape the Netherlands for something new, and all my attention was geared to that. So much so that after the first two months I was quite surprised that I was missing some of the things I had never thought I cared that much about. Of course I knew I was going to miss individual people, you always will. It was more the more general or really little things I missed that were surprising to me. For example, I sometimes just really miss speaking Dutch, which for me is odd because most of the dialogue I have with my friends is somewhere inbetween Dutch and English. I also started missing things like riding my bike to the supermarket, taking the train on a Friday morning to spend the weekend at my parents's house, and even just hanging out on a Sunday watching TLC or other questionable TV with my sister. Truth is, you just really miss a certain kind of familiarity that you have build up through so many years. I even started listening to Dutch music on Youtube....that bad.

2. Your concept of  'home' is blurred

This might seem counterintuitive in regards to the previous point, but hear me out. When I talk about 'home', I am mostly referring to all the things that made up my life back when I was in the Netherlands. Sometimes I am talking about the country in general, sometimes specifically about my mum and dad's place. However, moving away for a year also means starting a life in a new place, and in a sense that becomes your new home. You have your new group of friends, your education and maybe work all in the same place, and inevitably start having your little daily routines and habits. Essentially, you end up having two homes. There's 'home', the place you came from and the life you (temporarily) left behind, and there's home, the place where you actually live. For example, I can go 'home' and hang out with my friends and family for a while, but essentially there is nothing there for me besides that right now. These little trips are more like vacations, and at the end I go home to my daily life, which is in Canterbury. The confusing reality is that whether you are at 'home' or home, you are always going to be missing something. Woops, I think I just revealed the big secret of studying abroad.

3. You might just become a representative for your country, whether you like it or not

When you find yourself in a situation where you are surrounded by people from all over the world (which is usually the case when you are studying abroad), meeting new people usually starts with the well-known words: "so, where are you from?", followed by some ooh and aah sounds and generally approving glances. In my case, the most frequent thing I hear is: "Oh I LOVE Amsterdam!!" (good for you, I don't). However, the conversation that follows generally consists of questions along the lines of "so how do you do this and that in your country", or "is it true that in the Netherlands people.." etc. etc. Do not get me wrong, conversations like these are generally lovely (provided that people do NOT ask me about weed, clogs, or any other stupid stereotypical bullshit), but they also involve you being held as somewhat of an expert on your country. Sounds logical, right? Sure. However, I have noticed that without any intention, this 'representing' of your nationality creeps in way more frequently outside of the context of these conversations. I find myself bringing up how 'we do things differently at home', and how 'this and that is such a huge thing/not a huge thing at home'. I guess it is kind of a logical consequence of the situation (being away from what you know and taking that as a reference point and such) but it is striking to me how much I seem to present myself as 'Dutch' even though when I am home I am usually bitching about anything and everything that makes the Netherlands the Netherlands. Odd.

4. You may feel more in place than ever, or you might not. It is all a journey of discovery

Moving to another country might be a dream you have always had or it might be the hardest decision you ever had to make. However, neither of those initial feelings may turn out to define your experience. Of course it is totally valid that you might have a harder time adjusting if you were initially very anxious to study abroad, but things might actually turn out way better than you first imagined. You might find yourself more at peace with where you are in life than ever before. On the other hand, you might sometimes feel like your experience is less than you thought it would be. It is important to realise that even though you are acting out your dream, there will always be good and bad days. In either case it is a learning experience, and a question of rolling the dice and seeing where you end up. There are no guarantees with this.

5. You get more comfortable with doing things on your own

I think this point is rather self-explanatory: once you take that train/plane/other vehicle of choice you are basically on your own. You cannot rely on going to that one introductory party with your friends for moral support, you will have to find that local supermarket on your own, figure out how to register at the gym, etc. Of course this might not be the first time you have moved out, but the context of a different country can make even the most mundane tasks just that little bit more difficult. However, you will soon find out that, granted that you are living with internationals, most of the people around you will be in the same position as you, and soon you will doing those weekly shops together.

6. You get to be part of a very international community - Which is great

Generally universities will have some special arrangements made for those students joining the university from abroad. For example, my university organised several events for international students, including a special dinner. Events like these are the perfect opportunity to get to meet those people who are in the same position as you, and even form some long lasting friendships. Furthermore, chances are you will strike up friendships with the people you live with, and those in your BA or MA. Living in Canterbury is the second time I am surrounded by international students, and I absolutely love it. You do not just get introduced to a whole array of different perspectives, languages, and customs, there is also the glorious aspect of  nationally themed dinner parties. The best, I swear. (except if your French roomies really love cheese (obviously) and you cannot stand it. Though life.)












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