New Blog!

In a month a lot has changed. I handed in my MA dissertation, packed up my life in about a dozen boxes, said my goodbyes, returned to the Netherlands, and started working again. I am on my way to being a graduate, and also on my way back to England soon; in about less than half a year I will return. In the meantime, I have some time to spare, and I think some of this time should be devoted to my personal blog. Over the course of four years I have made numerous attempts to keep this blog alive, but it has been tough to keep up a steady flow of posts while also devoting most of my time to studying. Now, there are no essays or dissertations to write, and quite frankly, I am getting quite bored.

Well then, time for some mind exercise! I want to start blogging more regularly, but first, I think my blog could need some TLC. That's why, soon, I will be moving to a whole new website. I am hoping to present not just more incoherent rambling, but also to use this new website as a place where all my social media activities come together in a big orchestra of everything you never needed.

I am excited to start this new project!

I Was Wrong

As long as I have had this blog it has always been a way of documenting the changes in my life. From starting university to going on Erasmus, to graduating and coming here. For a while, I believed the latter decision to be the scariest one yet. But oh boy, looking back now I was so wrong. It wasn't the hardest decision I had ever made. In perspective, last year's decision was a walk in the park.

Some of you might remember this-and if you do I salute you for reading my blog so consistently-but in March last year I posted a little ramble called Important Decisions Nobody Ever Warned us About - But They Should Have. In this post I talked about life after your undergrad, and how this enormous decision of where to do my master's degree was looming over me in the midst of writing my BA dissertation. Do not get me wrong, at the time, this was a huge dilemma for me, and it will always be one of the most important decisions I have ever made. It was also one I had wished I would have had more guidance on. But sitting here today, in the midst of writing yet another dissertation, and with only a few more weeks on the clock to decide what my next move is going to be, life has never seemed more unpredictable.

Going to university can be tough sometimes, but for me it gave me a sense of security. Once you graduate from high school university is a much harder, but also much more fun continuation of what you have done before: studying. You are surrounded by your friends, you have your set curriculum, you do your assignments, and at the end of the year you reap your reward (or not). I always felt safe in this situation, as I had a clear view of were I was going and what I was working towards: graduation. Even after finishing my BA I had an inkling of what was to come. Although in a different country, at a different uni and surrounded by new (awesome) people, I kind of knew what I was in for. And right now..I have no idea.

Being the organised person that I am, not knowing what is to come next is giving me a fair amount of anxiety (to put it lightly). Some days I feel optimistic about entering the job market, other days I feel like I am never gonna get anywhere, ever, and that the only option I have is to go back home. But no. Those latter thoughts are the ones I cannot give into.

I decided recently that if I want to try to make this thing work, now is the time. This thing? Staying in England for the foreseeable future. I knew it was going to be hard from the start. I mean, it's daunting enough trying to find a job you are really passionate about in a country you are familiar with. I have an idea how things work in the Netherlands, I know what I would be in for. In England, not so much. I cannot even begin to describe how disheartening the situation has been since #BREXIT (there, I said it). However, this is just an added layer of unknowing to an already pretty black void of 'what the hell am I doing' .

So what is life post-post grad going to be like? Right now, it is going to involve a pretty serious battle for a job, combined with a pretty serious quest for a nice place to live. I have adapted the following attitude, which is helping me through most of my worries, which is 'this is the only option, there is no going home'. For some reason, this gives me an extra incentive to work extra hard at exactly what it is I want to achieve.

So yeah, I was wrong. Not only in being ignorant of the fact that the hardest part was yet to come, but perhaps most importantly, I was wrong in thinking there was ever going to be any guidance. It becomes clearer to me every day that there is no right or wrong way to go about things, and everyone will have to pick their own path. Perhaps with the help of others, or perhaps they will have to do it all by themselves. In the end, there is something to say for both.

Things I Realised While Studying Abroad

Making the decision to study abroad is not that easy. Even if you know that you would love to do it more than anything in the world, you have to figure out if it is the right decision for you at that time, if you have the means to make it work, and most importantly, if you have the balls to do it. It all starts with a possibility. A possibility which I myself had rejected a long time before I realised that maybe it would not be impossible after all, maybe I should just take another look at it. So you start doing your research, you start talking about it to your friends, introducing the idea to your parents, doing all the math. Slowly but surely the possibility grows into something more. You want to do this, you really do. And if you try hard enough, it can be possible. What is there that could possibly hold you back? So you apply, and you wait, and you anticipate..until that e-mail pops up in your inbox or you receive that one letter telling you that you're in. Well..I guess you're doing this then.

The day of departure grows closer, you start packing, saying goodbye to your friends, and every day you imagine what the coming year (or whatever timespan you are leaving for) is going to be. You can form your ideas, you can imagine what it is going to be like, the people you are going to meet, the stuff you will learn, the places you will see.

For me, it was exactly like this. Ultimately, I had done this before, I had gone on Erasmus exchange, I kind of knew what I could expect, even though this time around it was just me doing this, and quite frankly, that's scary.

A few months onward, and from all the imaginings I had before my arrival, most of them seem to have pretty much come true. I made new friends, explored new places, learned more things than I could have possibly have hoped for. However, I noticed that while being here, I'm experiencing things that had not crossed my mind before, even though they seem totally valid for this kind of situation. And hey, if I hadn't thought of them, maybe others won't have either, am I right? In any case, I want to take this opportunity to share some of the things I have been experiencing while studying abroad, which I gladly, and honestly present to you.

Observation Number 1: You are always going to miss home

Yes, this is true. For some people this may seem like the most obvious thing ever, and for some like the most improbable thing ever. For me, it was somewhere in between. I had always wanted to escape the Netherlands for something new, and all my attention was geared to that. So much so that after the first two months I was quite surprised that I was missing some of the things I had never thought I cared that much about. Of course I knew I was going to miss individual people, you always will. It was more the more general or really little things I missed that were surprising to me. For example, I sometimes just really miss speaking Dutch, which for me is odd because most of the dialogue I have with my friends is somewhere inbetween Dutch and English. I also started missing things like riding my bike to the supermarket, taking the train on a Friday morning to spend the weekend at my parents's house, and even just hanging out on a Sunday watching TLC or other questionable TV with my sister. Truth is, you just really miss a certain kind of familiarity that you have build up through so many years. I even started listening to Dutch music on Youtube....that bad.

2. Your concept of  'home' is blurred

This might seem counterintuitive in regards to the previous point, but hear me out. When I talk about 'home', I am mostly referring to all the things that made up my life back when I was in the Netherlands. Sometimes I am talking about the country in general, sometimes specifically about my mum and dad's place. However, moving away for a year also means starting a life in a new place, and in a sense that becomes your new home. You have your new group of friends, your education and maybe work all in the same place, and inevitably start having your little daily routines and habits. Essentially, you end up having two homes. There's 'home', the place you came from and the life you (temporarily) left behind, and there's home, the place where you actually live. For example, I can go 'home' and hang out with my friends and family for a while, but essentially there is nothing there for me besides that right now. These little trips are more like vacations, and at the end I go home to my daily life, which is in Canterbury. The confusing reality is that whether you are at 'home' or home, you are always going to be missing something. Woops, I think I just revealed the big secret of studying abroad.

3. You might just become a representative for your country, whether you like it or not

When you find yourself in a situation where you are surrounded by people from all over the world (which is usually the case when you are studying abroad), meeting new people usually starts with the well-known words: "so, where are you from?", followed by some ooh and aah sounds and generally approving glances. In my case, the most frequent thing I hear is: "Oh I LOVE Amsterdam!!" (good for you, I don't). However, the conversation that follows generally consists of questions along the lines of "so how do you do this and that in your country", or "is it true that in the Netherlands people.." etc. etc. Do not get me wrong, conversations like these are generally lovely (provided that people do NOT ask me about weed, clogs, or any other stupid stereotypical bullshit), but they also involve you being held as somewhat of an expert on your country. Sounds logical, right? Sure. However, I have noticed that without any intention, this 'representing' of your nationality creeps in way more frequently outside of the context of these conversations. I find myself bringing up how 'we do things differently at home', and how 'this and that is such a huge thing/not a huge thing at home'. I guess it is kind of a logical consequence of the situation (being away from what you know and taking that as a reference point and such) but it is striking to me how much I seem to present myself as 'Dutch' even though when I am home I am usually bitching about anything and everything that makes the Netherlands the Netherlands. Odd.

4. You may feel more in place than ever, or you might not. It is all a journey of discovery

Moving to another country might be a dream you have always had or it might be the hardest decision you ever had to make. However, neither of those initial feelings may turn out to define your experience. Of course it is totally valid that you might have a harder time adjusting if you were initially very anxious to study abroad, but things might actually turn out way better than you first imagined. You might find yourself more at peace with where you are in life than ever before. On the other hand, you might sometimes feel like your experience is less than you thought it would be. It is important to realise that even though you are acting out your dream, there will always be good and bad days. In either case it is a learning experience, and a question of rolling the dice and seeing where you end up. There are no guarantees with this.

5. You get more comfortable with doing things on your own

I think this point is rather self-explanatory: once you take that train/plane/other vehicle of choice you are basically on your own. You cannot rely on going to that one introductory party with your friends for moral support, you will have to find that local supermarket on your own, figure out how to register at the gym, etc. Of course this might not be the first time you have moved out, but the context of a different country can make even the most mundane tasks just that little bit more difficult. However, you will soon find out that, granted that you are living with internationals, most of the people around you will be in the same position as you, and soon you will doing those weekly shops together.

6. You get to be part of a very international community - Which is great

Generally universities will have some special arrangements made for those students joining the university from abroad. For example, my university organised several events for international students, including a special dinner. Events like these are the perfect opportunity to get to meet those people who are in the same position as you, and even form some long lasting friendships. Furthermore, chances are you will strike up friendships with the people you live with, and those in your BA or MA. Living in Canterbury is the second time I am surrounded by international students, and I absolutely love it. You do not just get introduced to a whole array of different perspectives, languages, and customs, there is also the glorious aspect of  nationally themed dinner parties. The best, I swear. (except if your French roomies really love cheese (obviously) and you cannot stand it. Though life.)

A Little Heart to Heart (with the World)

As promised in the little disclaimer to my last blogpost about the Revenant- which you should definitely go read right now, scroll scroll- I mentioned that I would come back to the question of why I have been absent for so long.

Actually, I want to rephrase this. I want to talk about why I have been such a worthless blogger since I started this way back when I first started university (or even before, but those posts have been put on private- too embarrassing). The truth is, the struggle is real. Do not get me wrong, I love blogging with all my heart. 'If you really love blogging, then why are you never actually publishing any posts?' Fair point. Let me explain the struggle.

One might assume that I am just lazy, and not bothered enough to actually write. Although perhaps there are certainly instances when this is true, it is not the core of the problem. The core of the problem is twofold. One: I am constantly struggling with the fact that I want to write about things I care about or that interest me, but most of the time these things are too personal to share with the entire internet (too personal not meaning anything out of the ordinary, just that I'd rather not go in depth about my life online). Let's not forget, this is a public blog, and my potential future employers- hey there! How are you?- might at some point read this. Furthermore, I am constantly asking myself...why would sharing this be interesting to others?

This brings me to the second part of the problem. Anyone who has been reading my blog for a substantial amount of time- thanks for still having faith guys!-  will know that the main topic I like to write about, besides personal rambling about whatever, is film. However, this has been- emphasis on has!- an even bigger struggle because I felt I had way too little authority to actually voice an opinion on it and have people care about that opinion. Now that I actually study film, I am still not an authority, AT ALL. However, I am coming to terms with the fact that truly, nobody will ever be an authority per se. The old 'all opinions matter kind of thing'.

Now that I have figured that out, I am definitely determined to write more. And yeah, we've all heard this before, especially myself. It is hard to muster up the motivation to get something done without someone pushing you to do it, or at least that is my experience. However, now that I am in the midst of an existential crisis of interesting proportions- 'what am I doing after this?' 'where will I live?' 'who will hire me?' 'will anybody ever hire me?' 'am I doomed?' (I am pretty confident at least some of the people reading this will be familiar with these cosy little thoughts that all plague our minds at some point in our lives)- it would be good to pursue something I actually love doing, and something that might in some way benefit me later on.

That being said, I will not be throwing out a post a week or anything. I know myself well enough to acknowledge how unrealistic that would be. The point of this blog then? I just wanted to blog about not being able to blog. It's good to have it here on the screen, and it makes sense (at least to me). Maybe it will motivate me to write more, or maybe it will ease my disappointment in myself for failing to. We'll see.

The Revenant: A Story of (In)Humanity

Disclaimer: If this posts seems like it came out of nowhere after months of radio silence and without any context, you are right. A more insightful elaboration of my absence is on its way, soon. Also, the following text is not free from any spoilers, so proceed with caution.

The Revenant: A Story of (In)Humanity

The tagline for Alejandro Iñárritu's latest work, The Revenant, reads "Blood Lost. Life Found". Although up for interpretation, these small phrases signal to two concepts at work throughout the film: violence and survival. Set in early nineteenth century North-America, and following the story of Hugh Glass, a hunter on a fur trading expedition, the film turns to violence fairly quickly. Early on, Glass is brutally attacked by a bear, and subsequently left for dead by other members of his hunting team. The attack which leaves little to the imagination signals one thing to the audience very quickly: this film is not for the fainthearted.

Blood being lost-and a significant amount for that- Glass finds himself still alive and with only one goal: vengeance. This is where the tagline becomes tricky. Although survival is one of the main themes in the film, Glass is not spurred on by a simple will to live. For someone like him who has nothing left to lose, survival is just a means to an end. After the bear-attack left him half-dead, he was not just presented with life in a literal sense, but figeratively speaking, the fate that had befallen him gave him a reason to go on. The shedding of blood thus gave him a purpose to live.

Following Glass on his journey on the fringes of life and death, The Revenant can be called a very human film, dealing with one of the most basic principles of humanity: survival. On the other hand it calls attention to the inhumanity that dominated life in 1820s North-America. After all, cold, ice, and grizzly bears are not the only forces of nature which constantly threaten the life of Glass, or that of anyone else in the film. Hostile Native American groups, as well as rivalling French fur traders pose a constant threat to Glass, and as he has found out, so do those he thought he could trust.

For all its rawness and brutality, the film also evokes one very simple pleasure: that of aesthetically pleasing imagery. This is all thanks to the awe-inspiring cinematography courtesy of Emmanuel Lubezki. The film being shot by the use of natural light, it is not hard to appreciate the mastery of the craft that went into the making of the film. Furthermore, the film seems to be layed out so minutely, every shot being carefully considered, arriving as it were at precisely the right time.

What this all adds up to is a neatly striked balance. On the one hand, The Revenant forcefully makes you want to look away, as it confronts you with an uncensored account of violence. On the other hand there are moments when it fixes your gaze on the screen, presenting very forceful images of beauty in their simplest form. As much as The Revenant might be called a visceral expierence, it should be pointed out that the film also includes the occasional nodd to something higher, more spiritual. If anything, it is these scenes that flesh out the film's deeper meaning a bit more.

Nominated for an impressive total of twelve Academy Awards, Iñárritu's film is certainly getting the sparks of attention it deserves. Whether it wins or loses seems of little concern, for The Revenant is not one to easily forget. If anything, it accounted for one of the most special experiences in the cinema that I have ever had.

My First Few Weeks as a Postgrad (in England)

Oooh the irony. Where my last post was all about my anticipation about coming here, this one is a long overdue one about ACTUALLY. BEING. HERE.

I want to say that I have been busy doing other things, and to be fair, that's partly true. So tiny, tiny recap: I have been here for three weeks and it has been nothing short of amazing. Canterbury is an absolutely lovely little town and everytime I walk from campus to the city centre- which is, yes, about 45 minutes - I discover something new and amazing. The campus is very cool. As it is built on a hill the views are absolutely stunning, and sorry Exeter University, nothing can top the view you have when standing in front of the library, seeing that grand cathedral in the distance. The cathedral is the highlight of the view, as Canterbury is just a little town, but flooded with students from all over the world.

As an international student, I have thus been feeling very welcome here. The university is certainly doing its best trying to make us feel at home. They organised a dinner for all the internationals (Erasmus, undergrad, and postgrad students), which was a great opportunity to get to meet some new people, and they even organised a trip to Leeds Castle, which was very beautiful.

That all seems ages ago now though. I am already in my second week of classes, and although I feel slightly overwhelmed, I have been thoroughly enjoying them. It is a bit hard, coming from a background in literary studies, to just dive into a postgrad in a different topic, but it is a challenge I am so glad I accepted. I have been dying to study film for so long now, and here we are :)

So far, this experience has been a lot of fun, a bit challenging, but completely gratifying. I have the best flatmates I could wish for (seriously, they are so great), and the University of Kent is just a very positive environment to be in. Everyday my inbox gets flooded with event invites, and notices about postgrad talks and other opportunities for students to broaden their horizon. I've also signed up for archery again, which I am looking forward to, and just had to sign up for the film society as well. Something that I was very pleased with is that the university offered free language courses for postgraduate students in the faculty of arts, so I have decided to take some French classes. Those will start this week and I am already looking forward to receiving brutal reminders of how bad my comprehension of the language has become.

As I am writing this post right now, I should actually be doing my reading, or working on my first essay (due next week) - yes this is solely me trying to convince you that I actually do stuff here. That's the greatest thing about going abroad for your postgraduate degree: those little bits of free time you have can be spent doing a whole array of things that at home might not be available to you. I am planning to pick up reviewing films again, since now I feel like I am actually being handed some tools that give my opinions a bit more weight. However, as someone kindly reminded me yesterday, I should pick it up again anyway, so I guess there's no reason for me to be slacking anymore.

Three More Weeks

The countdown has begun. In three weeks I will be moving back to the UK, to a different city, to start a new degree, at a new university.

It's just..wow. I've not yet been able to fully comprehend that I am actually moving to a different country for a whole year (perhaps more), and will be starting the postgraduate degree I never expected to be taking. To illustrate the fact that I haven't been able to really grasp this situation: I have attempted to write this post about 10 times, over the past few weeks, finally abandoning the draft I've been working on to start this new one.

I guess I am only fully able to finally blog about this right now because I have nothing else going on to occupy my thoughts and to distract me from the fact that YES THIS IS HAPPENING, I have been quite preoccupied lately, and although things like working a summer job wasn't the best distraction, it did protect me from the static limbo I am in right now. Summer vacation is done, everyone's gone back to university, and all I am doing is waiting...and waiting.

Interesting fact about me: waiting is not my strong point and I think my issues with patience are at the top of my 'Things-I-know-I-have-to-work-on-but-probably-never-will-list'. I keep getting questions like 'aren't you excited???' or 'you must be so happy right now!' and although I am genuinly very happy and grateful that I get to do this, I am the kind of person who is uncapable of feeling excitement untill the last moment. I just want to start this thing! NOW!

Everyone around me is happily doing their thing, but currently the highlights of my week are binge-watching Ripper Street and waiting for the Great British Bake Off to be on TV. And that sounds extremely sad now I think about it. However, fact is I will just have to power through these last few weeks, just like I did last year. I was in exactly the same boat around this time last year, feeling the same numb anticipation (is this even a thing?). It's definitely a strange feeling to be in the same situation again. Throwing a going away party, saying goodbye to fiends and family, 'yeah I'll see you at Christmas' and whatnot.

Funny thing is, I never expected to do this two years in a row. I was foolish enough to not plan further than my Erasmus experience, leaving me with a lot of doubts, questions, and a massive hole to fill when I came back (great planning there, Bonnie). Now that I have finally figured it out, it turns out I am doing the one thing I thought I'd never been able to do. I always wanted to study in the UK, but never thought of it as a REAL possibility. But then I guess I created that possibility, which is actually kinda awesome, but probably also the reason for my I-don't-yet-understand-what's-going-on-feeling.

The last half year has been tough, probably one of the toughest so far. Writing my thesis wasn't a walk in the park - but I have to admit it was less of a pain in the ass as I expected it to be - but the real struggle was figuring out my future, what I want to achieve and who I want to become. Naturally, not all of these questions have yet been answered, but I'm on the right track. I know that I want to become more involved with extracurricular activities, sign up for the odd society, and really explore all the options university still has to offer to me. I kinda slacked in this department during my BA (and honestly I lacked time to do so because Dutch universities aren't a joke and I am not one of those people who put in 0 effort but achieve ALL the things) and I regret it wholeheartedly. However, now is the time to make up for it and I get to do it at a new university, with new people, and in my favourite country, yay!

In all honesty, I am so so happy with the prospect of getting to study at Kent, and I am so proud of getting to this point. During secondary school I had a lot of people doubt my abilities, and that only made me doubt them as well. I've never really wanted to prove anyone wrong, but I needed to prove to myself that I could do it. It might not be THAT obvious, but getting that BA meant a big, big deal.

Now that I've unleashed about three months worth of feelings to the public - you're welcome - I will continue waiting not so patiently, hopefully doing some productive things along the way. I could perhaps start some of the preliminary reading? Maybe next week...

Very Big Deal in America!

How was I going to write a blogpost about my recent trip to New York without quoting West Side Story in the title? Right, I wasn't. It would not have been right.

But yes, NYC! I have finally been to the United States and what an experience it has been! It was truly refreshing to visit a new continent, and to just enjoy all the new sights and experience this illusive country (I joke.). I have to say that I have never understood the United States. Their politics confuse and annoy me and the stereotypes always looked very real from my European perspective. However, now I was finally going to experience the country of freedom (...), McDonalds, and Donald Trump (uhoh).

People who follow me on Twitter will probably be aware of my frequent rants about stuff going on in the USA (their gun laws, police violence etc.) and I have to say I was not entirely sure what to expect. The same went for New York City. In essence, it's just a big old city with a lot of people and a lot of tall buildings (sorry if I offend any New Yorkers, don't worry- praise is on its way!) and I was a bit scared there would not be enough to do to entertain me for a whole week. In hindsight, I was a bit foolish to think that.

NYC is huge. It's bustling, it's kicking, it's noisy, and it's alive. As a person who enjoys peace and quiet, I have to say NYC is too much for me. I enjoyed spending my days in the city, but I always felt very pleased being able to return to our hotel in Jersey at the end of the day. But it's a magnificent experience. NYC is in no way like London or Paris. There is a completely different atmosphere which I cannot quite get my finger on. The people there seem determined and busy, and they always seem to be discussing either the job they're working on or how their new house is coming along. I have heard more people talk about their new flooring and their most recent business plan than ever before. Why are ya'll discussing this stuff so loudly?

My favourite piece of New York is probably Central Park. I love that little safehaven in the middle of all that chaos. No loud phonecalls here. Just people eating their lunch, walking their dog or going for a run. You can really tell it's the place where everyone comes to unwind (which makes sense because it's a park but okay let's not kill the poetry here).

I really enjoyed the Metropolitan Museum, which has a great collection. The building is stunning, and it right next to Central Park (bonus points!). Going to the top of the Rockefeller Center was also very impressive. I've seen pictures of the New York skyline about a hundred times, but it doesn't beat the real thing-really. 

The real reason I went to the United States was to visit one of my friends whose been living in Washington D.C. for almost a year. Originally I was going to visit her there, but it turned into a family trip and we decided to go to New York instead, and take a roadtrip to D.C. Biggest. fail. ever.

The roadtrip itself was fine. Americans are really polite drivers- who would've thought that!- and I had enough amazing American coffee to keep me happy during the four hour trip. However, the weather was terrible. I have never experienced so much rain, EVER. It poured down from the minute we left the metro, and continued untill after we had re-entered the state of New Jersey. Flood warnings, amber alerts, and queues for the Smithsonian Museum were the result, and basically we didn't get to see much, except for the White House. But really, standing there with your umbrella in the lukewarm rain that's pissing down on you relentlessly, it's not really a good time.

Except for that half-ruined day, the trip was awesome. I loved that our hotel was in this little town in New Jersey so we got to see something else besides the crowded streets of New York. Seeing those houses with their frontporches and newspapers laying on their front lawn was like all my Sims fantasies coming to life. This probably sounds really weird, but it's just interesting when something you are so familiar with through TV, films, and video games comes to life. 

I ate a donut decorated with the colours of the American flag, I went to Walmart to marvel at how expensive everything was, I ate cheerios and had lunch in Central Park. My trip was a walking cliché probably but it was damn good. Thank you America for a wonderful week. I'm sure I will be back again! 

(I will still rant though, that hasn't changed)

(Also, I realised I love being European)

Important Decisions Nobody Ever Warned Us About - But They Should Have

Three years ago I was happy because I had a clear goal: I was going to study English, I was going to get my bachelor's degree in Nijmegen and I would subsequently sign up for a masters degree in said city. End of story.

Three years later I am conflicted. Not conflicted because I am failing to reach my goal. I'm well on my way to completing my bachelor's degree. Conflicted because that what was once clear is not so clear anymore. It's blurry, foggy, confusing and gives me headaches. Where the hell am I going to do a master's degree?

So let's put this dilemma in perspective. Where did it all go wrong with my well-thought out plan I made some time before I even embarked upon my academic career. Well, for starters, I am pretty much done with my university. We've had a great run, it lasted for about a year, then I got buried under books, essays, and pain, and my love for the university kind of dwindled. Then there's the fact that the master degrees at my current university do not appeal to me, and the fact that I'm dying to escape not only the city I currently live in but also the country I live in.

Oh yes, here we go again. My weird aversion to my home country, fueled by love for that weird little island on the other side of the North Sea. It would be futile to discuss the reasons why I want to leave this country as 1. they are boring and 2. I actually don't even know what exactly it is that's putting me off. The important thing is, I'm being put off, which then leads to the conclusion: I have to leave.

I am a person that gets easily bored and it is a major flaw to have. It's not just books, series, hobbies, or other material things that bore me after a while, it's places as well. And I hate it. I wish I still liked the city I live in as much as I did before, I'm certainly trying to but it's just not..there.

So who can we blame for my own shortcomings? Let's blame England. I might not have held the Netherlands in high regard before I went on Erasmus exchange, but going to live in England for a few months certainly did not help change my opinion of my home country. Erasmus was awesome. We all know that. I think England is awesome, we have established that now as well. There is something that pulls me to England which I can't really put my finger on, but it has always been there and frankly it's a bit of a pain in the ass.

So now for the difficult part. What do I do. Do I stay in the Netherlands? (let's nickname this the 'safe option') Do I go abroad (nickname: the 'expensive as fuck but really desirable option even though it will bankrupt me')? This is exactly the thing that I wished someone had warned me about. It is so hard to make a decision about this because in the end it is going to change EVERYTHING.

Chances are that if I stay I will build a life here, in the country I don't want to stay in, and eventually settle for it. If I go abroad I might actually roll into something really nice over there, and subsequently build a life in the country I could actually see myself spending the rest of my life in.

It all seems pretty fucking clear if I jot it down like this but the fact is things aren't that easy because it all comes down to that one thing that no student has but all students desire: money. Who ever thought it would be cool to make tuition fees that high in the UK? WHY? It's like torture. And it is exactly this problem that makes the decision so hard. It's a battle between doing what's easy but might make me less happy and doing what I really want but might be more of an investment than I am even capable of making.

My mind is pretty fried right now. I'm in the midst of finishing my BA degree and thus preoccupied with trying to write a semi-decent thesis- I'm lying, I'm striving to write a good one- and then this big ugly decision is put before me.

I know what I want and I guess that already indicates I have decided. It's not a question of being willing, it's a question of being able. Today I started applying to universities in England, and one in the Netherlands just in case. I'm going to try to find out how much will be able financially, and I guess that is going to ultimately be the deciding factor. Apply, hope. Enquire, hope.

Film studies in England? It is to be decided.

Exeter Favourites

It's been about a month and I'm finally committing myself to blogging again. It's been a major adjustment being back in the Netherlands, and I haven't really been able to find my way here again - in other words, it sucks and I want to go back to the UK! In the last month I've mostly been getting back to uni again, settling in in Nijmegen and been on a really, REALLY enjoyable trip to France. However, I think this is the best time to blog, as I have a bit of time now before the thesis hell really breaks loose.

So, let's take a look at the little gems I found in England. I just want to point out that these things might seem really commonplace to some of you but as a Dutchie these products aren't easily available to me at home, which explains why I'm so happy to have them.

First up, books! The first one is this Barnes and Noble leatherbound edition of Dracula that I got for Christmas. Okay, this one is not actually bound to England in any specific way, but you can get this edition for a fairly good price at Waterstones, as well as a number of other leatherbound classics.

I absolutely love it, it's so beautiful. I almost never spend money on expensive books except if I really like a certain one, and Dracula just happens to be one of my favourite novels, Iehhhh. 

Then there are a few other books I got in Exeter (it's a good place for booklovers and I don't even count myself as such but apparently it's infectious). There is a little shop near the Quai area called Book Cycle. It's located in a really cute little house and sells secondhand books. The concept of the store was entirely new to me: you can decide for yourself what you want to pay for a book, and every visitor can buy three books maximum a day. The money that they make goes to projects to provide less fortunate children in third-world countries with books. I loved this concept and knowing that I was supporting a charity really helped with chosing what to pay for the books - which is the tricky part.

I got these lovely books there:

I paid 10 pounds for these three books, which is about 3 pounds a piece. I'd been meaning to buy The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time for a while and I was very happy to see it there! The middle one is Jules Verne's Around the World in 80 Days, but in French. Now okay, this might seem really pretentious but I read the book in English and very much liked it, and I loved the look of this one. It's from about the 1920s and if something is as old as that I just need to have it, even if it means taking twenty times as long to read it because it's in French - but fortunately I'm picking up that language again! The top one is Waverley by Sir Walter Scott. Again, I liked the look of this one, it's old, and I've been wanting to read some of Sir Walter Scott's work for a while now. Also, it has some really nice pictures in it that are great for Snapchat, just saying.

Okay, then it's on to beauty products. I LOVED being able to pop into Boots and Superdrug. They sell so many brands that are a pain (or just downright impossible) to find in the Netherlands, and it was really nice just going to the shops and looking at all these new products (of which I couldn't buy many because I'm a poor student). However, I did manage to buy some products that I have been loving so far.

First up is this body lotion by Soap&Glory. 

I had heard about Soap&Glory by a lot of British bloggers, and knew I had to try it. Unfortunately, this stuff is not cheap. I paid 10 pounds for the above bottle, BUT I am sure that it will last me a loooong time. Also, this stuff is really worth it. This botty lotion smells like a little piece of heaven. I bought it for my sister for Christmas and after unwrapping it on Christmas eve she kept rubbing little dollops of it on her hand because she loved the smell so much. I decided I had to have one as well and bought this one just before going back home. I also bought my sister one of their body scrubs which is very lovely. It does what it's supposed to do (clear the skin), as well as leaving it soft and smelling amazing. They really have some gorgeous products and I wished I could've bought some more - or all - but alas. I know I'll be trying more of their products though, or giving them away as gifts because just look at the packaging, so cute!

The last things I really want to mention are some lipsticks that I got at Topshop. I'm in the habit of watching youtube bloggers and have heard them talk about Topshop lipsticks many times. I got two, and I was certainly not disappointed!

I got a nice classic red colour 'Hazard', and a more purplish one 'Role Model', which I have been absolutely loving, Both are matte lipsticks, but they do not feel dry on the lips as some matte lipsticks tend to do. They are more creamy and the colours are just amazing. My lips have a tendency to dry out very quickly while wearing lipstick, but these keep my lips fairly moisturised, which leads me to wear them more often. They cost 8 pounds a piece, so about 10-11 euros if I'm not mistaken. Not the cheapest lipsticks out there, but I do believe you get great value for your money. Certainly recommend! (and you can just get these via the Topshop website). Topshop also have some very nice nailpolishes, I've especially been enjoying the matt-velvet ones, so pretty!

So yeah, these are some of the things I've been enjoying in England and which I brought back with me to enjoy at home. I can't wait to go back to the UK and get some more bits and things :).

Looking Back: The Best Few Months Ever

So my title for this blogpost is totally soppy and definitely unorginal but sometimes that is just the way to go, or maybe not, but in any case this is going to be one big sentimental outpour of feelings so if anything, it is applicable.

Where to begin? I've put off writing a conclusion about my semester abroad because in all honesty a conclusion is not what I wanted. I think the title already explained it all, but these have genuinly been the best months I have ever had. They were filled with happiness, laughter, exploration and a stray essay here and there, but that definitely did not spoil the fun. I think the best way to describe it is like an extended vacation that also included studying? Like, imagine a trip to Paris but instead of going to museums you write essays..if that makes sense? It's like living in a little bubble outside of reality, with a heap of people who are living exactly the same, making it all feel normal.

However, these months have been anything but normal. For me, living in the country that I've always wanted to live in was a bit daunting. I must admit there was a part of me that feared that these few months were going to be the dealbreaker: what if England is not the country I imagined it to be after all? Luckily, this did not turn out to be true. There's definitely things in England that really require some getting used to: the astonishing amount of public drunkness, the horrible lack of proper bakeries, the ever changing weather (I've seen more rainbows in these 4 months than I have probably seen in my life), the fact that people stop to talk in the middle of the street and continually walk into you - RUDE MUCH - and the amazingly high cost of public transport. BUT if anything this experience has only made me love and appreciate England even more (which feels weird to say after this list of suckiness). The places I have been to, the lovely nature and weird but 'interesting' customs just make me want to stay, and everytime I go back to England it feels like coming home.

As for the whole Erasmus exchange, I am so thankful that it exists. It is really exciting to meet people from all over the world and share the same experience with them. I've met so many wonderful people that I've otherwise had never been able to come into contact with. I enjoyed proving stereotypes about the Netherlands wrong, or explaining to people that no, it is not called Holland, and yes, there is more to the Netherlands than Amsterdam. On the other hand it was nice to learn a bit more about other people's countries, and I enjoyed getting some of the stereotypes about those countries proved wrong - or right, depending on the subject.

I may have already talked about this before, but I am especially thankful that I got to study at the University of Exeter. It may not have been my first choice, but damn was it a pleasure. I almost feel like I have learned more than I have in two years in the Netherlands. The relaxed atmosphere during classes was really enjoyable, and the fact that we got to access some proper archival material was simply amazing. I loved flipping through Victorian periodicals and magazines, and it was awesome that we got to get creative with these sources when we had to do a project for our Imperial Encounters class. I especially enjoyed this class, to the point that I didn't even resent writing essays for it that much - eh?

One other thing that I really enjoyed doing these past few months was a sport: archery. I had never done this before, and considering it is a bit more accessible in the UK than in the Netherlands I just had to try it. Really happy I did it! I may not be an expert now but I am glad that I at least got to learn the basics, AND I have a certificate to prove it- ahyeah.

Not so surprisingly, it is incredibly hard to sum up four months in one post, and yeah, it might have helped if I had blogged more. But in those incredible moments it did not feel necessary, and I know that the best moments I will never forget, even if I don't have the blogposts to remind me. I am sad that it is over, but those feelings are definitely outweighed by gratitude and joy that I got to have these experiences to begin with. Furthermore, I KNOW that I will go back to England soon. It might not actually be my home, but it can be, and it will!

As I do want to share a bit more about my experience than just these general feelings, I decided to do a 2014 Favourites post - England edition. I encountered some great products across the pond, and I definitely want to share those with you, so look out for that :)

For now, it is back to reality (although maybe a slightly better one than before :)).

Bath and Cornwall

I probably don't have to expand upon the reasons why it has been a while since my last blogpost- time is going by so fast! This blogging about my experiences is actually harder than I anticipated because essentially this is just real, normal life, and not some weird trip around the world or whatever. But anyway, I went to some nice places in the last few weeks which I thought I'd write a bit about.

Firstly, three friends and I went to Bath a few weeks back. I'm not sure why I knew about Bath's existence, but it's probably due to Jane Austen or some art lesson I had in secondary school. It's not that big of a city - which I knew beforehand - but it's famous for it's Roman Baths, and the Royal Crescent, which I was very excited to see. And actually, it did not disappoint!

I feel like many times you read about something or see pictures and you just expect it to be less cool than that, but it really wasn't.

Just look how cute it is! We were very lucky with the weather, but nonetheless I think it would have been stunning. I either read somewhere or someone told me that the idea behind the Royal Crescent was that people from that time liked to see the clash of nature and civilisation in their architecture - or something oddly nice like that - and true or not, I think they definitely succeeded. Of course, the park in front of the Royal Crescent was packed with tourists - wonder how the people who actually live there feel having their house photographed every five seconds.

I also made some other general pictures of the city which I already uploaded on my facebook, as that might be a bit more readily accessible :)

My friend and I also hung out at Waterstone's for a while, crying because of all the cool books we want to buy but can't actually afford right now - it's a tough life. I saw this beautiful edition of Dracula which I subsequently fell in love with.

Last weekend I went on another exciting trip to Cornwall, together with my parents and brother who came to visit me for a few days. It was really nice seeing them again, and they brought me some Dutch goodies to survive the harsh English experience (just kidding, I've become used to the supermarkets, the tap water, and the bread - I will say no more on the subject). I showed them around Exeter for a bit, took them to see the campus, and the day after we ventured to Land's End, crossing Dartmoor along the way. Again, pictures are already online! However, I just love these two..

Both Dartmoor and Land's End are absolutely stunning, and it reminded me why I love this country so much.

City Snapshots: Exeter

More than a week has passed since my last blogpost and honestly time has gone by so fast. My classes are FINALLY sorted. I'm taking a course on Romanticism and one on Victorian Imperialism, which are both subjects I am already acquainted with. However, I'm just glad we could get our hands on some English modules and so far the seminars and lectures have been really nice - everyone participates so well here it's miles away from the situation at home where the lecturer sometimes has to use persistent staring tactics to get students to speak up in class.

So yeah, really nice to have that sorted, and I'm back to reading again. However, boring everyone by discussing my classes wasn't my intention for this blogpost. As I took a look on Facebook and saw that a lot of my Erasmus colleagues were uploading a lot of photos of their new home and adventures, I thought it would be nice to share some pictures of Exeter as well. I've been kind off slacking off when it comes to taking pictures, because it just feels a bit strange - like taking pictures of Nijmegen or its university, what's the point of that? However, it might be nice to have at least some pictures to look back on, so I will try to make a conscious effort to take more pictures.

We went to the park to read a while back, and it's a really nice spot.

We also went on an evening stroll to the quay area, which was rather lovely - ignoring the fact that there were about 5000 bridges that I dreaded passing.

Then I also made some pictures of the campus, but they really don't do it any justice. I mean, the fact that it's built on a hill is really annoying, but it makes for some nice views.

This is only a really small part of campus, but it's the part with the best views, and also the place were we will spend most of our time as students of English.

I made an effort with the first two pictures, the rest were made with my phone so please bear with me - I'll try to bring my camera more often - even if it makes me kinda look like an idiot.

Settling in, England

So I came up with some pretty cliché opening sentences for this blog post:

Option #1: Englaaaaand, I'm finally here!

Option #2: Yes, the adventure has finally started (ugh especially hate this one)

Option #3: Guess where I am!

Yeah, let's not bother with any of those. It has been such a busy week, but it has been great as well. For those unaware, I recently moved to Exeter for my semester of studying abroad, and I'll probably write about it regularly on here.

So yeah, Exeter. I won't say it's a coastal town, but it has an impressive amount of seagulls. I was rather expecting the city to be ugly - going of on things I'd heard from other people - but it's actually not that bad. There are some really nice spots in the city centre, and they have a really cute park.

The university is just really impressive, it's huge for one, and the library has some seriously high-tech equipment. I'm not kidding, they have an entire room filled with mega tablets placed in tables which you can use to mess around with, or study - whichever one you fancy. 

Fresher's week has been good, certainly not as intense as the Dutch one, but it was nice that you could pick the events you wanted to go to yourself - although this was also a bit overwhelming at times. We explored the campus, cried about our still not confirmed courses with several members of staff, and signed up for some societies. I signed up for archery, which I'm pretty excited about. I don't think I'll get another chance to try it, so I couldn't miss that opportunity.

All in all, England turns out to be quite a strange country. When it comes to shopping, some things are really cheap whilst others cost a surprising amount of money. The bread is definitely inferior to the bread at home, and don't even get me started on the tap water (I should probably get over this but I'm not over it yet). Oh how you realise how nice the Netherlands truly is when you spend time abroad. On the other hand they have some really nice shops here that I am desperate to go to but too broke to actual spent money at right now. 

Tomorrow is quite an important day, as I might be able to finally secure a place on an English course, but for now it's just hoping for the best. 

Oh on a final note, English people turn out to be especially awkward dancers.

The Loveliest Spot in Berlin

Hiya! I interrupt my fangirl rambling about films and series to talk about something a bit different, which I couldn't help not share with you.

So, last week I went on a little city trip to Berlin with some of my friends. I'd been there before, and really love that city. It might not be as romantic as Paris or energetic as London, but it certainly has character. It might be heavily scarred in the past, but it holds it's history well. Now even to my surprise, it was here, in this growing, modern city, that I stumbled upon the most quaint, charming little hang out spot.

After dinner one night one of my friends and I decided to roam the city. Near our hotel on the Oranienburger Strasse, we decided to take a different route and explore. It turned out to be a great idea, as taking all these little streets took us away from the bustle of the city and led us to a more relaxed, quiet environment. We found ourselves living the true Berlin experience, coming across little local hang-out spots and cafés that were far away from the busy streets crowded with tourists, and filled with true Berlin crowds.

We almost got a little lost in these streets, trying to weave our way back to the main road again. Our little adventure brought us past some hidden gems, like a church Martin Luther King once preached in, a Holocaust memorial and a shop that sold all Irish goods - it was really random.

When we found our way back to the main road we decided to walk back to the hotel via the park on the Oranienburger Strasse, which we had already designated as our daily breakfasting spot. As we crossed the park for the first time, we discovered the most precious of hidden places - or at least hidden to us. Round the back of the park - the Monbijoupark - it is bordered by the Spree, and on the other side of the water lays the impressive Bode-Museum. Next to the water there is a little spot with palm trees and cute little lights where you can sit and enjoy a drink - or a few - which you can get at a bar area, that is actually next to an open-air theatre! There is also a dancefloor where people were dancing in pairs to the lovely twenties music that was being played. You could even grab a pizza there! The whole thing was just absolutely lovely. When we arrived it was just getting dark, and as the sun went down it was just a bit magical. The twenties music, the people dancing, the lit-up museum on the other side and the boats going past - it kinda felt like A Midnight in Paris.

My friend and I were really impressed and sat there for a long time, drinking wine and chatting away - we did not want to leave. I imagine most of the people there were locals, and the whole place just did not have a touristy feel at all, which just made it that much better.

So my dearest readers, if you ever find yourself in Berlin, and are looking for a nice spot to unwind, go find this little corner in the Monbijou Park. It's just a little bit of heaven - if you're into that sort of thing.

Greatest International Scavenger Hunt the World Has Ever Seen (GISHWHES)

Let's clear something up and simultaneously talk about something really awesome I've done last week: GISHWHES. For those who have been following me on twitter or facebook it might have been somewhat of a mystery what this GISHWHES was that I kept referring to. Well, Gishwhes - or that long name in the title that I don't care to repeat even though I've already written more words now than I would have if I'd rewritten the name - is a scavenger hunt set up by the amazing Misha Collins, who one might know from the tv show Supernatural (or perhaps the cinematic masterpiece that is Stonehenge Apocalypse). However, I think more people know him from the former, and a lot of the participants of GISHWHES are also in the Supernatural fandom.

So what exactly do I mean when I say scavenger hunt? Well, this is how it works. You sign up for GISHWHES, and either chose a group to be part of or you are assigned a group by GISHbot. At the beginning of the hunt - which lasts a week - a list of items is uploaded to the GISHWHES website, and for each item your team can receive points. Pretty straightforward right? Well, don't be fooled, the real challenge is in actually doing the items, as they are many a times ridiculous, crazy, amazeballs, or sometimes just downright impossible. Some examples from this year's list, which my team executed:

A family of at least four enjoying a formal dinner. All of the place settings, serving utensils, dishes - basically every non-food item above the tablecloth - must be made from Legos.

Get all of the checkout employees at a supermarket to wear "Mishacolypse" masks as they ring up customers. They all must be working their individual registers when you take the picture. There must be a minimum of four checkout workers. The more cashiers, the more points.

Sing a harmonized duet rendition of "Eye of the Tiger" with someone standing 30 yards away from you. The camera should be centered between the two singers and we should be able to see both in the frame. -Stefanie Bumbaru

These were totally ridiculous but so much fun to do. Then there were also ones that were just really really cute:

“When I grow up, I want to be...” Have a child dress up as what they want to be when they grow up (lawyer, doctor, ballerina, dragon-slayer, etc.). Then stage the photo in the environment they would be working in.

There were also a bit more serious items, like becoming a bone marrow donor, or getting a CPR certification. There was one my team members were able to do which we were all very proud of, which was: There is a retirement home in Baltimore, MD called Rolland Park Place. My grandmother lives there. Bring flowers, chocolate or funny homemade or store-bought cards for some of the residents. Since this is a bit nepotistic, if Rolland Park Place is out-of-the-way for you, do the same at another retirement home. You must interact with the residents. My awesome teammates called up a retirement home and went to serve cake to them and hand out flowers. The video that resulted from it was just lovely, seeing those people smile and be so happy that these random things were happening to them. It makes me kinda emotional just thinking about it.

But that's also what GISHWHES is about. We were really lucky to be paired up with some amazing people from Utah who were as enthousiastic and dedicated to the hunt as we were, and we ended up doing some great things. I think we were all very proud of each other when it ended, and a bit sad of course.

So guys, if you feel like going crazy for a week, having loads of fun, doing some great things for humanity and also regaining some faith in your fellow humans, sign up for GISHWHES. It's such a rewarding experience and you'll meet some great people from all over the world. And there's just this kind of family feeling that you are all in this crazy thing together.

Want to know more about GISHWHES? Here is the official website and what the man himself has to say about his little project: Misha's Musings. And hey, there's even a Wikipedia page: TAKE A STROLL THROUGH SOME MORE INFO. There are costs involved for signing up, but if you really don't have the money to sign up but to have a burning desire to do so, you can apply to get a free admission.

Oh and perhaps this is also important, there is a reward for those who win! This year it's a trip to Croatia with Misha for the winning team. My team wasn't in it to win, but just for the fun. So just kow that you do not have to work your ass of or do things you might not be comfortable with if you do not want to.

If anything, I know I'll be signing up again next year! May the hunt grow bigger every year! (And I mean, we're on our way, as NASA and a few celebs got into it this year already)

I leave you with a picture of our awesome team.

An image of each of the members of your team in Brady-Bunch style grid format. Photos should be mug-shot style with each team member holding a black and white sign stating their city and country of residence.

With Just a Hint of Nostalgia: Peter Jackson's The Frighteners (1996)

I might have mentioned it before, but my older brother has always had a huge influence on me when it comes to films and series and it's somewhat of a miracle if I happen to watch something before he has seen it- or an even greater miracle if I have seen a film he has never heard of (I celebrated my first win this weekend-go figure). We used to spend many sunday afternoons watching the Lord of the Rings extras, back in I don't even kow when, and it just continued from there.

However, the Lord of the Rings was not the only Peter Jackson creation my brother introduced me to. I remember watching Heavenly Creatures one day on TV because my brother wanted to see it- it being a Peter Jackson creation and all. It mostly confused me, and I only found out a few days ago he was nominated for an Aacademy Award for it, which prompted the thought of a rewatch. Then there was King Kong, which I was not that impressed by, and the Lovely Bones, which I have not seen till this day.

The Frighteners is a different story. Every time this film came on TV my brother forced our family to watch it, and it took me a long time to actually embrace the movie. It's probably one of Jackson's less known works and the reviews I've read weren't that optimistic, but I think I've seen it almost as often as I've seen The Return of the King. Mostly by force however, because this film used to terrify me when I was little. It stars Michael J. Fox as some kind of ghostbuster who goes after this creepy-ass phantom that is on a killing spree, marking its victims by carving numbers into their foreheads. The killer-ghost seems to travel inside of walls and ugh, I still find it very creepy.

I've really grown to love the film though, when I rewatched it a few years ago. Old enough to actually focus on the film and get what it's about, I was still a tiny bit scared, but mostly entertained. I mean, this film has some really great elements. Firstly, it has Michael J. Fox, who is awesome. I used to dislike him because I disliked Back to the Future - because I always found Doc sooo fucking annoying and still do secretly - but again rewatching those films changed my perspective. Secondly, the film mixes creepiness with comedy, which always works to be honest. I am not a fan of full-blown horror films and this is a nice alternative. It's originality as a film is mostly the result of this mix of humour and horror which Jackson plays with, sending the film in all kinds of different directions. It does make the film a bit messy and the two emotions might not mix that well, but it's different, and I kinda like it.

I have my brother's special edition director's cut of the film laying around here, which includes a documentary on how the film was made. I'm curious to see some behind-the-scenes stuff that is not from the Lord of the Rings but from a more down to earth, easy-going film that doesn't take itself too seriously, which is exactly what viewers shouldn't do either.

Needless to say, I will be watching the film again, not only to keep the cycle going but mostly because I like it. And this was my attempt to try to make others give it a go too, IF THEY DARE. Uhum, so yeah, watch the film.

Oh, and look for Peter's camio. It's beautiful, as always.

What I've Been Watching: June and July

Series: Orange is the New Black

June was a good month for me getting into a new series. The reason: exam week. I am one of -I believe- many who suffer from the hey-it's-time-to-study-let's-start-a-new-series-syndrom. It's not so much a means of procrastination, but a little present I give myself at the end of the day for wrecking my brain writing essays or revising. My series of choice for last exam week: Orange is the New Black.

Now I already raved about Orange is the New Black (henceforth OITNB) in my last post, but I enjoyed it too much to not give it a bit more attention. Let's start with how I got into contact with it. For some strange reason I saw the ad on TV for this Netflix series, and I must say they did a good job trying to sell it to viewers because I instantly thought it looked promising. I normally avoid Dutch television, but it's safe to say something good came out of it this time. I proceeded by downloading the first season and it was an instant hit: I finished the first season within about a week. Now I know this is probably not as hardcore as many others who watch like 5 seasons of a show in 2 days but for me, this was pretty quick.

So small summary: OITNB follows Piper Chapman as she is sent to prison for smuggling drugs a decade ago under pressure of her then-girlfriend. Leaving behind Larry- the douchy fiance - she re-encounters her drug baron girlfriend in jail and a ton of other badass ladies whose stories unfold troughout the first two seasons.

There's a text post going round on tumblr that embodies OITNB perfectly in my view, and it's something along the lines of: "I was taking a train this week and thought wow it feels so good being out of prison. But then I realised I wasn't in prison but just binge watching OITNB." SO ACCURATE. The binge watching part is definitely true, but also the fact that it eats you whole. Now I know this might partly be a side-effect of the binge watching, but OITNB truly does a good job representing a situation that might feel alien to many of us while still making it relatable. As a viewer you start to empathise with the characters more every time you learn a bit more about them, as every episode goes into the backstories of these ladies, presenting little snippets of their histories that give away just enough to piece together how they ended up in jail.

Nominated for twelve Emmy Awards OITNB is getting the attention it deserves. The only faults I've been able to find? 1. You have to wait 5-ever for a new season. 2. Piper's husband Larry is the 21st century equavalent of James Hurley and the most boring character ever. Ugh.

However, this should not stop you from watching a badass series about badass ladies. Hey, you can always press mute when Larry appears on screen.

Films: Philomena

It must be a miracle but I am finally reviewing Philomena. I'm pretty sure I've watched this film waaaaay back before June, but it just needs a tiny bit of attention.

In essence, the film is truly heartbreaking. Based on true events, the film centers around Philomena's search for her son, who was given up for adoption by the convent she was put in by her father in the 1950s after getting pregnant without being married. With the aid of a journalist who is eager to publish Philomena's story, they discover her son's fate.

Philomena was nominated for four Oscars, including the award for Best Picture, and this was one of the reasons I really wanted to see the film. I'd like to say that I don't care about Academy Award nominations, but I do. If a film has won an Oscar, I always feel the need to find out if, in my view, it deserved to win. In Philomena's case, I'd say no.

As I said before, the story is really heartbreaking, but I think the way it was conveyed on film was slightly lacking. The set-up of Philomena (Judy Dench) with the journalist (Steve Coogan) in the beginning felt really random and a bit rushed. The brilliant acting of Dench and Coogan did make up for this a bit as the interplay between their characters was a joy to watch. However, overall the film proved less engaging than I thought it would be. Maybe I am harbouring unrealistic Hollywood standards, but I expected more of the search for Philomena's son. It was certainly portrayed as very realistic, but realism can still be heartfelt, and I just missed that intruiging element, or the sense of hope that I had expected.

As the film unravels it's impossible to not be affected by it. It's a story that does not need theatricality or dramatic music to make an impact, and if that's why the director, Stephen Frears, made the decisions he made I completely understand it. However, to me it could have been a bit more polished, or structured a bit differently to just make it that much better.

That being said, I do understand why Philomena was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Picture to begin with. It's not a secret that awful things where going on within these convents and the Catholic Church as a whole in the 1950s- and not just then for that matter. These are the stories that matter, that should be told and not be forgotten. And Philomena's story was just one of many.